Missing someone I’ve never met.

My brother was two years old when he drowned. This was before pool regulation and codes came in. My mother was in the lounge room and my father out the back of the house. Mum thought he was watching my brother. 30 seconds. It took 30 seconds for my brother to drown and no one even knew. He was riding his bike around the pool when he fell in. The bike fell on top of him so he couldn’t get out. Mum still cries to this day. All my life I have had this helpless feeling. How could something happen so fast? A life was taken away in a matter of seconds and my mother had to watch her child get pulled out of the pool. I know how she feels. She says “if I had gone out just a minute earlier, he would be alive.”. Still there is nothing I can do or could have done. I wasn’t even born yet.
People say to me on his birthday or the anniversary of his death. “Why are you upset, you never met him?” And the answer is this. I miss the though of him, I think about what would have been different in my life if he was here. I think about what he would be like. but most of all, I cry for my mother. I wish I could take away her pain but its something that will never go away.

I love you Nicholas, rest in peace bro. 🙂

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